Unravelling Demons: Unblocking My Fears Of The Hierophant
Katie Doherty
Writer, curator, horror fiend and heavy music enthusiast.
Scorpio sun, Scorpio moon, Pisces rising
London, United Kingdom
Unravelling Demons: Unblocking My Fears Of The Hierophant
When learning to read the Tarot, one can feel rather overwhelmed. I was 14 years old when I received my first Tarot deck – the Grand Etteilla Egyptian Gypsies Tarot. The first time I laid them out and opened that little white booklet I felt like I had opened the greatest book of secrets. This soon became overshadowed by uncertainty and anxiety – all the feelings many first-time readers experience at some point, I am sure. Instead of facing it head on, I gave up and told myself that one day, just one day I would be a Tarot reader.
Let us fast forward 15 years when I was gifted a deck of cards again. This time it was the Rider-Waite-Smith deck and from there my love of Tarot enveloped me and I was forever in its grip. What was different this time? I believe that maturity played a large part plus my ability to be more focused on my learning and my research skills had developed somewhat. This time I studied each card in detail but not with the anxiety I had before. Instead, I was immersed in its iconography, symbolism, and place in history. I was filled with curiosity as I shuffled and moved the cards around my desk. I gathered my favourites, my in-betweens and then there was one. It was a card that would often appear in my readings and as soon as I set my eyes on it my mind would draw a blank. I would almost feel a sense of dread in my chest. The card in question is The Hierophant.
Classifying this as a bad card would be quite incorrect of me but on a personal level, it was a blockage and I wanted to understand it. The one thing I did not intend to do was reinterpret it to the point that it lost its original meaning – I respected its journey through history. Instead, I wanted to get to know it.
The Hierophant posed a problem for me because the image felt threatening. The presence of the stone pillars left me cold together with the stern face of The Hierophant himself – his demeanour was unfriendly and unwelcoming. He had the appearance of a figurehead, possibly in a religious setting which I wasn’t too keen on either. I am not affiliated with any structured tradition, so this card screams at me like a strict teacher or a priest that disapproves of my life choices.
“The clue to unlocking this was to understand it more fully, face the card head on and understand its message and why I have such an aversion to it.”
The more I studied this card the more it showed me structure, rules, and authority. I am not exactly an anarchist but I believe in 100% autonomy, so this card really irked me.
So, I wrote about the card. It was a stream of consciousness piece of work that would eventually help me untangle this knotted and frayed thread I carried with me. The first obstacle I had to overcome was my aversion to my negative experiences with authority, those in power and so-called teachers. The more I unpicked, the more this card opened itself to me. Here was a new Hierophant - the teacher, the poet, and the philosopher. I began to turn this man who oozed power into an ally or someone I could count on for tough love. I started to peel away the layers and he slowly revealed himself to me. The Hierophant was now showing me his ability to be a conduit between the world we live in and the spiritual world – a teacher of sorts, a teacher I needed.
“There it was! On the flipside he had the ability to warn me about being oppressed and stunted in my life. He was no longer the foe but the guide. “
Depending on my Tarot spread and corresponding cards – this card was beginning to grow on me.
It was quite clear that I needed to release myself from the shackles of authority and tradition. I needed to allow myself to be taught and to be guided.
Some may read this and pose the question – why is she overthinking this? I always believe that when you find something that irks you, it is your duty to pull it out and examine it. I am always ripping things apart to get into its guts, I want to understand it fully. Knowledge is power, and power beats the fear of not knowing. The popular saying “it is what it is” doesn’t work for me.
How to unlock your card
Using a stream of consciousness approach, write about your card.
Go into detail about what you dislike about it and how it makes you feel. Do not be afraid to dig deep, that is where the gold lies.
Do research. Get to know the card in a nerdy research way.
Ask yourself: What does it represent? Does it fit an archetype? Are you seeing any patterns as to why you might have a block with this card?
Make notes.
Katie Doherty is a writer and editor based in the UK. She currently curates and edits the online publication Black Flowers. Black Flowers is dedicated to underground literature, art, the occult, heavy music, and film.
She graduated from university with a degree in film. She has written for online publications within the horror genre and reviewed film submissions for horror festivals.
She has been editing and distributing zines and underground publications since 2007 on subjects such as heavy metal, horror, poetry, art, death and the occult.